[Film] My Happy Family (Chemi Bednieri Ojakhi)

15 July 2017

“My Happy Family (Chemi Bednieri Ojakhi)”---The O.P.E.N. (Singapore International Festival of Arts)

Release Year: 2017

Country: Georgia, Germany, France

Director: Nana & Simon (Nana Ekvtimishvili & Simon Gross)

Cast: Ia Shugliashvili, Merab Ninidze

Location I watched: The projector

Story from the festival website:

A literature teacher, Manna lives with her parents, husband and grown-up children in a crowded apartment in Tbilisi, the Georgian capital. As family and friends gather to celebrate her 52^nd birthday, Manna calmly packs a suitcase and, to her guests’ surprise, announces she is leaving.

 

First of all, the above “Story” is partly incorrect. After her birthday when Manna, the protagonist had to celebrate with her family, relatives and friends, she packs a suitcase in front of her family and leaves. After many years working outside and inside for her family and piling up stress, Manna finally decided to live alone in a flat she has already found. I think “My Happy Family” is not a story about women’s independence. It is a film with a contemporary theme about current women who have to take many roles in society. Even after her children grew up, they still rely on their parents. Her daughter is already married, but the couple is living in the same house because they are not economically independent. This situation is not rare now. The next situation is also common. As Manna and her husband are working fulltime, her old mother has been keeping the family’s kitchen. It might be helpful, but in Manna’s case, she has to hear Mother’s complaints and scoldings instead. Manna’s husband however does not look troubled by this messy daily life. Only Manna is feeling the rising doubts about her own life and her family.

When she finally decided to live alone, a big fuss happens not only among her family, but also her relatives. In contemporary Japan, a unit of family is not big and the relationship among relatives is not strong so much. However, for some races, some societies or some cultures, family is quite important and the definition of family is wide. A family unit does not mean only parents and children. It also includes grandparents, siblings’ family or cousins’ family and so on. A “clan” might be a better description for this. For them, gathering together and maybe eating together is quite important.

In Japan, it is not so common that all relatives and friends visit somebody’s house to celebrate his/her 52-year-old birthday. But in Singapore, being invited to celebrate somebody’s birthday is not rare, even if the person is a full-grown adult. After Manna left the house, all the relatives are assembled and a family meeting is held with her attendance. That situation is also familiar. In Singapore, even if an old father or mother needs to see a specialist in a hospital, it turns to a big event and an important discussion topic among all grown-up sons and daughters. Generally, they tend to have their family (on wide definition) on their mind more than people in Japan, I think. In Georgia, the culture looks being similar. A social life included especially with family or relatives is important there.

Manna’s relatives think that family should be together. For them, Manna’s action is quite a shocking incident, especially for her husband after their long marriage. This incident caused a big fuss among her family and relatives, with a heavy discussion and argument. They try to convince Manna to go back home, but of course, they fail. Funnily, all their discussion or argument does not go anywhere. There is no development and no effect. Just the same things are said, again and again. This looping conversation makes me feel the reality of a family meeting. What a family!

The angriest person from Manna’s decision is her mother. She is so angry that she looks as if she is almost going to die. The noise she makes in anger is quite funny. However, when Manna visits her family in a while after she left, her mother calmly receives her at the door. Mother has already put Manna’s daily cup back to a shelf in the kitchen, but she welcomes Manna. It looks like she has already accepted this situation for some mysterious reasons. So where did all her anger go to? That point is funny. On the other hand, Manna’s elder brother tries to solve this “problem”, but of course, he cannot. Finally, all he could do is to ask some neighbors in Manna’s new apartment to watch her. Her brother is worried that Manna has a new man while she is living alone. That “arrangement” makes her furious, of course. From her brother’s point of view, he must do something for his sister in “trouble”. He feels that it is his responsibility. That is why he has done a totally unnecessary and silly thing. What a family!

This film has many crowded scenes. For example, Manna and her family’s daily life in their apartment, her birthday party, the family meeting with relatives and her school reunion etc. There are always many people squeezed in a small space. Even when Manna bumped into her old friend in a wet market, the narrow passageway causes people to constantly pass by between them. People in such crowded scenes look cramp. But, at the same time, their ensemble is terrific. The camera smoothly moves around them taking in each different movement. The crowded scenes are too beautiful to stop being drawn.

After leaving her noisy and crowded family life, Manna finally gets her own space and time. She starts enjoying her single life. It gives her an opportunity to see her family from the outside. Even after she left, new different issues appear. She is still involved in them as a wife, a mother and a daughter, but now she can keep a detached attitude. But on the other hand, she discovers a gossip between her and her husband. Her husband had an affair that she did not know about... After getting married, they have been raising children, taking care of parents and working hard to support all their family. Probably Manna did not have time to think about this. But now, she starts thinking, “What is a husband and wife from the start?”. She becomes more unsure about her husband than before she left. It could happen to any couples. Once you start to slow down your life, you might ask this question to a man in front of you like Manna, “Who are you?” (19 August 2017)